August Air
by just-grey
Summary: Ryan helped out a close friend three years ago, which left him alone and with a daughter. The CSI team has no idea about Ryan's darling secret, how will they react when they find out? Full summary inside.
1. Little Monsters

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**Disclaimer:** _Nothing reconizable belongs to me. It all belongs to the respected owners, I am merely playing around with the characters. I do, however, own Delilia, or Lily as we'll call her for now._

**Summary:**_ Ryan helped out a close friend almost three years ago, which left him alone, and with a daughter. The CSI team has no idea about what Ryan's daughter. How will they react when they find out about 'Papa Ryan'?_

**A/N:**_ Please note that Lily is only about three years old, so don't be surprised if you find her dialouge to be a bit hard to understand. This kid isn't going to be some genius just so you can understand her more better. Also, for now there will be no pairings. I'm still trying to figure out where I want to take this, and right now it's just a Ryan centric story, but later on I am more that sure that there will be a dominant pairing. But, stick with me and Lily for now and enjoy the ride._

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Ryan was sleeping peacefully, soft snores escaping his mouth every so often. It was still the middle of the night and he was thoroughly exhausted. He'd spent almost every waking hour at CSI headquarters, working nonstop with Calleigh, Eric and Horatio to catch their latest criminal. To everyone's delight, they'd finally managed to nab the guy, sending him to jail for the next ten to fifteen years of his life.

Now, Ryan was comfortably wrapped up in his warm blankets, satisfied when he found his neighbor, Holly, had brought back his daughter after keeping her while Ryan was busy with work. It wasn't something he liked to admit, but he did need help every so often, it was often hard, being a single dad. He usually did have everything figured out though, but on those off chances when a criminal decides to spring havoc on Miami, he knows when he needs to seek help. Ryan had checked on Lily when he'd gotten home, only to find he fast asleep in her bed. He'd watched her sleep for a few minutes, her bright green eyes hidden by her eyelids; her soft light brown hair sprawled across her pillow. He'd dropped a light kiss on her forehead and then went to bed himself, too tired to even make himself something to eat.

To Ryan's dismay, he was jolted out of his sweet, dreamless sleep by cries coming from down the hall. He shot up immediately as soon as he heard them, his eyes wide and alert. Ryan jumped out of his bed and ran toward the room that the cries were coming from. Sure enough, there she was, hugging her worn blanket to her chest and cradling her small and beaten through the years, stuffed duck.

"Papa!" She called as she jumped off of her bed and ran into his arms.

Ryan lifted her gently, holding her close to him.

"Hey, sweetheart, what is it?" He asked, his voice soothing her instantly.

She sniffed, salty tears running down her little cheeks and pointed at her closet. "'Cary!"

He sighed and set her down, planting her firmly by the door, her nightgown wrinkled heavily. He smiled encouragingly as he walked toward her closet. She held her breath as he opened it, inspecting it thoroughly. He peeked his head in, and moved things around carefully.

He walked back over to her and bent down, reaching to hug her.

"See? No monsters. You're fine Lil."

She sniffed again, staring at him with wide and wet eyes.

"Papa sleep with you? I scared." She asked, her voice thick with innocence.

Ryan smiled and lifted her up, bringing her with him as he went back to his room.

"You know you're gonna have to sleep in your own bed once you start school, right?"

She nodded very fast and rested her head on his shoulder.

"No school papa."

He chuckled wearily. She was always outsmarting him, taking after her mother no less.

"That's right."

He set her down on his overly large bed, tucking her in and walking to the opposite side of the room to turn off the light.

"Papa?"

He turned to her voice, small and scared.

"What is it Lily?"

"Papa! Light on."

He sighed; there was no way he was going to be getting sleep tonight.

"Of course, Lil. Now go on, get some sleep. You have to wake up early tomorrow to go to Nana's remember?"

She smiled brightly, pulling the covers around her enthusiastically.

"I woaw papa. I 'iss Nana." She looked down for a brief moment before looking up again, a wide smile on her face.

"Tell momma?"

Ryan hesitated for a moment, hating to talk about Lily's mother, but he could never resist the wide smile that Lily always gave him.

"Okay."

He sat down next to her and she snuggled further into the bed. Ryan looked at her and smiled and began talking to Lily, telling her some new things, some old.

"She loved to travel, went everywhere she could. Was an artist at heart and never left anywhere without her sketch book and a pencil. You know the day you were born the first thing she did was draw you. Wouldn't let the nurses take you away before she had your nose just right. She was always the carefree one. Though, I'm not quite sure you know what that means yet, but-"

"I do dada, I do! You free and care." She nodded seriously and smiled smugly, Ryan merely chuckled at her.

"Um, yeah, yeah I guess that explains your mom. Anyway, she was always getting us all into some sort of trouble, and I was the one who always had to clean up her messes…"

"Dada?" She interrupted.

"What sweetie?"

"'Ow momma get sick?" She asked softy, her voice curious.

Ryan's voice caught in his throat as he stared into the wide eyes of his daughter. He always hated when she would ask about the horrible memories, as Ryan just didn't have the heart to tell her.

"Um, actually Lily, I think that's enough for tonight. It's time for bed."

She started to protest, wanting to know more about the mother that she never got to know, but he raised his finger and she knew that that was that.

Ryan watched as Lily drifted asleep, small puffs of air making its way out of her small mouth. He got up and left the room, leaving the light on for her in case she woke up again. Ryan walked into his kitchen, leaving the lights off, grabbed a cup and filled it with some sort of liquor that he found in his fridge and sat at the table, reliving bad memories brought up from the past.

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_I hope you're interested! Please leave me a review and tell me what you thought. Chapter two will come shortly. Thank you for reading!_


	2. Sketching Delilah

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**Notes:** _First, I want to thank everybody who took their time to review. You guys all rock! I'm so glad you're interested. In this part of August Air, we'll get a flashback and an idea of who Lily's mum was. Please take the time to review and enjoy!_

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Ryan lifted Lily in his arms as he walked out of his small apartment. She was still sleeping, the rain keeping her awake most of the night. He grabbed her bag and a small, brown paper bag with her lunch in it. Ryan looked around the apartment, checking to see if he had forgotten anything. When he was satisfied that he hadn't, he opened the door and walked out, the bright Miami sun already bugging his eyes.

Lily shifted in his arms and he rubbed her back, soothing her back into sleep. She stilled after a moment and he sighed in relief. One of the many things Lily had inherited from her mother was her crankiness in the morning. Ryan definitely wanted to hold off Lily's waking up as long as he could. Or, at least, until he dropped her off at her Grandmother's. Ryan settled Lily in her car seat, made sure she was comfortable, set her duck by her side, climbed in the front and took off. He just hoped that Lily's Grandmother wouldn't make him late for work. For as long as he'd known Katherine Arbor, she had always made him late for something. Whether it be she wanted to know what he was up to, or if he had found a woman suitable to be a mother for Lily, the woman could talk an earful.

He remembered when he had first met Katherine; she'd scooped her grandchild in her arms with care, scolded Ryan for not bringing Lily to her sooner, and thanked God that Lily was even alive. Ryan was just glad that Lily would be able to know at least one grandparent, for he never had a mother and his father...well, Ryan and his father weren't really on speaking terms. Katherine was numb at first, when Ryan had brought Lily to her house, at barely 3 weeks old, only to inform Katherine that Olivia, Lily's mother, hadn't made it. Katherine hadn't cried, she hadn't bawled or showed any sign of sadness, she merely grabbed Lily and sang her a lullaby, adoring the soft features of Lily's delicate face.

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_Ryan knocked on the blue door softly. He sighed as he thought, "I shouldn't only be here to deliver bad news." Lily stared at him with wide eyes, the green of them shining brightly. They looked just like her mother's. _

_The door opened and an older woman with just as bright green eyes greeted him. She adjusted her messy apron as she said hello._

"_Can I help you Sir?" She asked, her voice sweet and soft. Olivia had always spoken so fondly of her mother and Ryan now knew why. He already loved this woman as if she were his own mother._

"_You're Katherine Arbor, right?" He asked, his voice hoarse with emotion._

_She nodded, eyeing the baby Ryan had in his arms with love._

"_Ryan, I presume?" She asked, though already knowing the answer._

_Ryan sighed, and nodded as he shifted Lily in his arms._

"_Olivia?"_

_He looked down, his eyes not able to look her in the eye._

_He heard Katherine sigh, felt her move aside as he walked into her home – and into her heart, along with Lily._

_She showed him to a small couch, she sitting across from him in a worn sofa. _

"_What happened?"_

_Ryan sighed heavily, Lily beginning to fuss. He smiled wearily as he reached for a pre-made bottle. _

"_I'm not quite sure myself Mrs. Arbor – "_

"_Please, call me Katherine. After all, you are like family now." She said with a warm smile._

_Ryan smiled back, but it didn't reach his eyes. He continued._

"_Olivia called me at work; told me she was going into labor. I got to the hospital as soon as I could, but there I was on a case and I didn't get there until an hour later. I knew I should have just told Horatio or someone, but I didn't. When I finally go there, the nurse told me they had to do an emergency C-section, that something went wrong and she couldn't do it naturally like she wanted. I…I panicked. I didn't know if Olivia was going to be okay, or if something had happened to the baby. Liv wanted a baby so bad Katherine."_

_Katherine nodded, stood silently and reached for Lily. Ryan handed his daughter over carefully. She walked back over to her chair and rocked the child in her arms with care. _

"_Go on," Katherine said quietly._

_Ryan took a deep breath and bowed his head. When he spoke again, his voice was soft and low, as if he didn't want Lily to hear him, even if she couldn't understand what he was saying._

"_I stayed in that waiting room for what seemed like hours. Nobody came and got me, no one told me what was going on, if either of them were alive or not. I felt numb, like I could think or hear. I just sat. I sat until finally someone came and got me. And when they did, I had to choose. I had to choose Katherine; between my best friend and my daughter."_

_Ryan could feel hot tears beginning to fall down his eyes. He did not wipe them away. He did not care._

"_I chose to save her," he said, pointing weakly at Lily._

"_Because I knew, I knew that no matter how much Olivia wanted a baby, she wanted that baby to live. I knew. Liv got to see her before they took her off the respirator. And the only thing she did was sketch her. Sketched her and wouldn't let anyone take her away until she got the bridge of her nose just right."_

_Katherine sighed softly, whispering a lullaby to Lily._

"_What did you name her?"_

_Ryan chuckled at that, and Katherine looked up, a small smile on her face._

"_Olivia wanted to call her Delilah, because it was her favorite flower to paint."_

_Katherine chuckled at her lost daughter's reasoning. _

"_Well that is just a mouthful. How do feel about Lily? You like that name Lily?" She asked her grandchild, her eyes glistening with love._

_Ryan smiled at Katherine._

"_Lily it is then."_

Ryan made it to Katherine's home, Lily still fast asleep, hugging her duck to her tightly. He quickly got out of the car and carefully took Lily out of her car seat, already dreading going into the lab, knowing he was already late. He checked his watch one more time before knocking quietly on Katherine's door. The door opened merely seconds after Ryan had knocked. Katherine quietly gestured for him to come in, but he shook his head in the negative.

"I have to go to work Katherine," He whispered, gently handing Lily off to Katherine.

She narrowed her eyes, and pointed her finger at him.

"When you come to pick Lil up we are going to have a nice long chat you hear Ryan?"

He sighed and nodded with a small and knowing grin on his face. Ryan softly kissed Lily on the forehead and left for work. A very long, stressful day at work.

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_Tell me what you thought?_


	3. Once and Again

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**Notes:** _Thank you for all your reviews! I'm glad you are enjoying it. _

Today was like no other day. There was nothing special going on. There wasn't an anniversary, a party, a birthday, nothing he wasn't supposed to remember, nothing. Yet, Ryan felt something…odd, as he walked into the lab. A week had passed since Ryan had dropped Lily off at Katherine's. After he had gotten off of work and went to pick Lily up, he and Katherine had a quite nice conversation. Ryan had to admit, he missed Katherine's talks, for as much as she did like to get into his business and talk off a storm, her talks were always deep, meaningful and Ryan did enjoy them. He enjoyed having someone to talk to, someone he could talk to about Lily.

He casually made way for the DNA Lab. The Lab was surprisingly quiet, Miami seeming to take a break from the normal hatred of its crimes. Ryan didn't _need_ to go to DNA, but he didn't really have anything else to do and Valera was always nice to talk to. He suddenly thought of Lily at that moment, wanting to be with her instead of work, but knowing he couldn't. She was with his neighbor again this day, and as much as Lily loved to be in the company of her friendly neighbor Holly, she would always complain to her father when he would pick her up. He briefly thought Lily would like Valera. He also thought Valera would be a nice person to be able to talk to about Lily.

It wasn't that Ryan had meant to keep Lily a secret from his friends. That was far from it. He would have loved for his colleagues, and best friends, to have met Lily, but every time he tried to bring the subject of his fatherhood up, something happened; a major crime, something happening in the lab, or possibly another Horatio crisis. And yes, Ryan knew that that excuse wasn't a fairly good one, but it was the only one he knew. Yes, Eric, Calleigh, hell even Valera, they were all close, but they had their own problems, and Ryan didn't want to burden them with his – at least, that's what he told himself. He knew Horatio already figured out about Lily, the man knew practically everything, for one day he had made a remark to Ryan. It wasn't a big remark, but it was enough. Ryan knew that someone was bound to find out about Lily one of these days, and he knew Horatio would be the first. Horatio hadn't pushed, he hadn't asked about Lily's mother; he had barely even mentioned that he knew. But it was enough. And Ryan was glad Horatio hadn't pushed.

When Lily was first born, Ryan took a vacation. Eric had asked about why he was leaving, and Ryan merely said he needed some time off. Eric seemed to accept that, nodding his head morosely, his eyes a bit dark and distant. Ryan still needed to figure things out. Things weren't supposed to end up like the way they had. Olivia was supposed to be alive. Lily was supposed to be safe in the arms of her mother. Olivia wasn't supposed to be dead. It was then, when Ryan had finally come to terms that he would be raising Lily alone, that he decided he would do everything to protect Lily. No one would hurt her. No one. And it was then, that he did finally understand why he hadn't told anyone about Lily. If no one knew about Lily then no one could hurt her. Ryan took precaution in everything he did with Lily, he put her in a private daycare, he shopped alone, he made sure she only ate certain foods. And the only reason his neighbor even knew about Lily, was because she had a daughter too. Ryan had come home from picking Lily up from daycare one day, only to discover he had a new neighbor. He was hesitant at first, but after a while he had started to trust Holly, and her daughter getting along with Lily just made it so much better.

He reached Valera's lab. She was sitting slumped, her chin in her hand. Her brown hair – Ryan wondered how long it would stay that color this time – was hanging loosely at her shoulders. Her dark green eyes were cast downward, dull and grey. She looked mildly depressed, and Ryan wondered why. It wasn't like Valera to be so down, for she was always the upbeat one. She was always the one he could count on to cheer him up. Ryan certainly needed her bubbly ness right about now, for the odd feeling he felt earlier was increasing and he was beginning to feel a little…_off,_ strange and weary.

"Hey Valera," He said brightly.

She jolted at the sound of his voice. Ryan frowned.

"Oh! Ryan, hi. What are you doing here?"

He shrugged, sitting down with her.

"It's been a little quiet, so I thought I'd come and see how you were." He said as he playfully bumped her shoulder with his.

Valera giggled softly and turned to him.

"I'm okay," She said, softly. "How about you?"

Ryan smiled bitterly. "I've been having this odd feeling all day, as if something's gonna go wrong. Heh, not to mention my car broke down a block from the lab this morning and I had to walk the rest of the way here. Never let Delko fix your car Valera."

She smiled sympathetically. "Eric 'fixed' my car last year. I gave up trying to get it to work and just bought a new one."

Ryan laughed, getting a small bit of laughter from Valera as well.

Valera stared straight ahead, her sad outlook back on her pretty face.

"You ever been lied to?"

Ryan sat still, his muscles tensing.

"Yeah, I mean, hasn't everybody?" He asked, laughing nervously.

Valera shrugged.

"Valera, are you sure you're okay?"

"It's just…I hate when I don't get the whole story. It's either all or nothing. You don't just give someone a piece of the truth and expect them to work with it. That's just not how things go." She sighed.

"I just wish someone would tell me the whole truth for once." She turned, smiling sadly at him.

"But hey, it's like that saying, 'You can't always get what you want'."

Ryan sat, staring straight ahead as Valera had a minute ago. Could he really just tell them about Lily? Could he take that chance? Ryan considered the possibilities. It wouldn't hurt to at least tell them. It wasn't as if they needed to actually be in her life. And at that, maybe he would only tell one person. Maybe he would tell Valera.

"Hey Valera?"

She turned to look at him once again, biting her lip.

"Yeah?"

"I can trust you, right?"

She looked a bit shocked at his question, at the hesitance in it. She narrowed her eyes.

"Of course you can Ryan. Why? What is it?"

He sighed heavily, _it's either now or never_, he told himself.

"Well. You see, I sort of have a – "

Ryan stopped. His eyes widened.

"Ryan? You sort of have a what?"

But Ryan did not answer, his eyes were cast straight ahead, though this time they weren't staring at nothing. They were landed on a woman carrying a child.

"Oh my God."

Valera laid a hand on his arm in concern, but it was quickly tossed aside as he jumped out of his chair and headed straight for the woman. Valera followed hesitantly.

Ryan rushed to the woman, who he recognized immediately as Holly. She was carrying Lily. And she looked very distressed.

"Lily?"

Ryan looked at his daughter, whose eyes were closed, shaking violently. He put a hand to her head and recoiled. She was burning up.

"What happened?" He asked Holly, his eyes wide.

She shook her head. "I – I don't know. I put her down for a nap and when I went to go wake her she was burning up." Holly's voice shook as she spoke.

Ryan nodded. He took Lily out of Holly's arms gently. Valera watched on.

"I uh, I'm gonna take her to the hospital. Th – Thank you for bringing her, Holly."

Holly nodded; she took one last look at Lily and turned to leave.

Ryan heard Valera walk up to him. So much for telling her…

"Ryan. Do you need a ride to the hospital?"

He turned to look at her, realizing the feeling he had felt earlier, was the same he felt the day Olivia had called him, saying she was going into labor. The same feeling he had when he paced in the waiting room. The same feeling he had when they told him something was wrong.

Ryan nodded silently. Valera took a small look at Lily before guiding Ryan to her car.

For the second time in his life, Ryan felt dread.

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_Tell me what you think?_


	4. Die Another Day

**Author's Note:** _Thank you for all your reviews! You guys rock! And again, 'flashbacks' are in italics. _

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_Soft rays of the sun hit through the window. Olivia smiled serenely as she walked through her studio. She sat down slowly, careful of her already big bump. Her bright green eyes sparkled as she spotted a clean canvas. Olivia picked up a pencil, but no inspiration came to her. That is when she heard her front door. _

_She got up with some ease, touching various things in her home as she headed for the door. Her blonde hair flowed down her back, and bounced with each step she took. When she finally got to her door, she breathed in the scent of flowers, daisies, sitting on a nearby table, before opening the door, a wide smile on her face. _

_Ryan stood in front of her, a large bag in his hand. Olivia smiled wider, ushering him in._

"_Ryan! Hi, how are you?"_

_He chuckled softly, giving her a hug._

"_I could ask you the same thing. How's junior doing?" He asked._

_Olivia rolled her eyes and took the bag from Ryan's hands in curiosity._

"'_Junior' is just fine Ryan. You know he or she does have a name."_

_Ryan rolled his eyes as well. They walked into Olivia's studio together wistfully._

"_Oh yeah, your little hippy names. You know, why can't anything ever be normal with you?" He asked with humor._

_She playfully slapped his chest as they reached the blank canvas. Olivia set the bag Ryan had brought with him on the bare floor, and set herself on her stool._

"_Because nothing would be extraordinary if it was normal, Ryan."_

_Ryan smiled fondly at her as she picked up a pencil._

"_How are you doing, Liv, really?" He asked then, his face serious._

_Olivia lowered her head, and closed her eyes._

"_I'm better. Really, Ryan. It isn't as bad as last week."_

_Ryan nodded, turning his head away from her. They sat in silence for a while before Olivia finally spoke once more._

"_So, what's in the bag?"_

_Ryan smirked, grabbing the bag and opening it._

"_My friend from work, Eric, he has a niece and apparently it was her birthday. Well, he pulled a three nighter and then decided to get her gift. He bought two of these." Ryan paused, a smile on his face, and pulled out a large teddy bear. "I told him my brother had a kid I could give it to. I figure when Junior is old enough you could give it to him or her."_

_Olivia smiled brightly at Ryan, taking the bear and inspecting it in admiration. _

"_Aw, he's beautiful Ryan!"_

_Olivia gingerly set the bear down next to her and turned to Ryan, a more serious look on her face._

"_Why haven't you told any of your friends about me, or the baby, Ryan?"_

_He looked away and sighed._

"_Olivia, this is your baby. I mean, why would I tell them about you or the baby if I'm not even going to be a part of the kid's life? And what if you don't…what if you don't make it through this? What then Liv?"_

"_You think I'm going to die. You think this baby is going to die."_

"_I just want to be prepared for the worst Olivia."_

_She looked at him then, a stern look on her face._

"_You can't always expect the worst Ryan. Sometimes – sometimes it's good."_

_Ryan looked away from her, pulling his hands over his face._

"_Yeah."_

_Olivia bit her lip, turning back to her canvas; she still didn't know what to draw._

"_Ryan. Give me something to draw."_

_He looked up, a small smile on his face, glad that the negative conversation was over._

"_I don't know…strawberries?"_

_Olivia turned to him, made a face and turned back._

"_Ew, no. Strawberries are bad. Just, bad."_

"_What? Why? That's ridiculous Olivia." He said in laughter._

"_Hey, don't question my dislike for strawberries Ryan. They give me a bad vibe, and I don't ignore my bad vibes."_

Ryan had never, not once, given Lily strawberries. Maybe, just maybe, it was because of Olivia's so called bad vibe. Ryan wasn't sure, but he never, not once in his life, given his daughter strawberries.

He sat in Valera's car, Lily in his lap, and sighed. He couldn't lose Lily; it was hard enough to lose Olivia. He could not, he would not, lose his daughter.

Ryan looked across from him briefly, eyeing Valera, who was concentrated solely on the road. She was determined; Ryan could give her that, to get Ryan and Lily to the nearest hospital within ten minutes. Ryan watched as she bit her lip, thinking it was the same way Olivia used to.

"I meant to tell you, all of you guys, you know." He said, as he went back to looking at his daughter.

"I would certainly hope so." She responded, her voice strong and smooth.

Ryan sighed, running his fingers through Lily's locks.

"Look, I'm sorry Valera. Okay? I'm sorry I never told you about Lily."

Valera rolled her eyes, making a sharp turn.

"I'm not mad at you Ryan. I expect Calleigh to be, maybe Alexx. But me? Nah, I'm not mad at you."

He narrowed his eyes, wincing as she made yet another sharp turn.

"Well you certainly sound mad. Listen Valera – "

"No, you listen. Ryan, I'm not mad. I'm hurt. I thought we were friends, I thought friends tell each other important things like having a kid!"

"I – "

"But you know what? It's fine. I mean if you wanted to tell me then you would have, right? It could have come up in any conversation, right?"

"Well, yeah but – "

"But hey, if you didn't want me to know then I'm okay with that. I just hope that I can return the favor. 'Cause I mean, when I told you my parents were coming up and I wanted to hang myself, I'm sure you didn't care. Because hey, we aren't even good friends, right? Because good friends tell each other important things, Ryan."

"Okay, I get it – "

"Now, I am mad Ryan. I don't want to hear what you have to say. All I want right now is for this ass to get out of my lane so I can get your secret daughter to the damn hospital and so I can leave you there with her and go get myself a goddamn drink!"

Ryan widened his eyes as Valera accelerated, turning the car sideways, and passing the offending car. He gripped his seat and Lily as she speedup even more.

"Um, Valera – "

"I don't want to hear it Ryan! Can't you see I'm trying to get your kid to a hospital?!"

"Yes, Valera, I can see that, but don't you think – "

"No, Ryan, I don't think! And I would appreciate it you didn't either!"

Ryan shut his eyes tight, clutching his daughter closer to him as the car sped faster and faster. Finally, when it came to an abrupt stop, Ryan thought she'd finally managed to kill them all…that is, until she opened his car door and took his daughter from him. Ryan opened his eyes, seeing that they were not all dead and in the pearly gates, but in the hospital's parking lot. He got out quickly, spotting Valera running with Lily in her arms toward the entrance.

As Ryan caught up with Valera, seeing her approach a doctor, he thought, no, he knew, he was never driving with Maxine Valera ever again.

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_You know the drill. Thanks for reading guys!_


	5. Still

**Author's Note:** _Um. Yeah, I've been sick and still am. So, um, this chapter sucks. Yeah._

Ryan bit his lip, watching Lily's chest slowly rise and fall. His stomach tightened, not liking the feeling of Lily sleeping in a hospital bed. How the white sheets underneath her not at all clashed with her now so pale face.

He sighed heavily and wearily, rubbing his hands over his face. Ryan slowly reached for Lily's small and fragile hand, rubbing his thumb over the pale skin.

Ryan lowered his head to the bed, resting his forehead on Lily's hand. He shut his eyes tightly and breathed in deeply. It may have been just a scare, but he couldn't get the picture of Lily fading away and out of his life, from out of his mind.

He heard a throat being cleared from behind him and turned his head just slightly to see Valera standing in the doorway. She was fidgeting, biting her lip and looking everywhere else but the bed in which Lily lay.

"Is she…?" She asked unfinished, waving her hand toward Lily nervously.

Ryan nodded silently.

"Yeah. She ah, had some strawberries and apparently she's allergic to them. I've never given her the damn things so I never knew. God, they are bad." Ryan said, ending his sentence with a bitter laugh.

He turned back to Lily, sitting up and pushing back some hair from her face, he stood. He did not move when he stood, but Valera did. She slowly and, still fidgeting, walked over to Ryan. Valera still did not look at Lily, and instead directed her gaze to Ryan's wristwatch.

"And are you…okay?" She asked him, her voice small and somehow unlike Valera.

Ryan turned to look at Valera, his eyes dark and answered: "No. Not at all."

Valera's wide eyes softened and she smiled a bit.

"But you're gonna be okay?"

He sighed and looked away, bit his lip and turned back to her.

"Always am."

Valera nodded knowingly. She finally looked down, but this time not at Ryan watch, at Lily. Her eyes widened more than usual and they softened as if silk. She stopped fidgeting and raised her hand just slightly, as if to touch Lily's small one. She stilled for a moment, and Ryan watched her carefully, but she rested her hand on Lily's for a moment, a small one at that, and pulled back.

"Valera?"

She did not answer, and instead limply fell into the chair in which Ryan had previously vacated. She lifted her hand to her face, still staring at Lily's peaceful form. She then raised her hand, to massage her throbbing temples.

"So am I supposed to keep this a secret? Because I don't know if you've noticed but I'm not the best at those."

Ryan narrowed his eyes and Valera was still staring at Lily.

"Um, for now, yeah. But I'm going to tell them all soon."

Valera nodded, closing her eyes.

"God, Ryan, you have a kid!"

He nodded.

Silence captured them, Ryan still stood vigil over his daughter and Valera raised her hand to hold Lily's. She suddenly giggled.

"She has your ears," She explained, when he glanced at her in curiosity.

Ryan smiled, laughing a bit as well.

"I'm not sure if I should take that as a compliment or an insult."

Valera turned to him, a smile on her face, her hand still holding Lily's.

"It's a compliment. You have some of the best ears, I'll tell you that." She said matter-of-factly.

Ryan laughed heartily and looked around, spotting another chair and bringing it beside Valera. He sat down and nudged her shoulder.

"Thank you," He said sincerely.

She sobered quickly, the smile erasing from her face. Her eyes bore into his and she let go of Lily's hand.

"Yeah," She said in a small voice, nodding slightly and getting up.

"I, uh, I have to get back to work. So um, yeah…" She fumbled as she spoke, rushing out of the room.

He sighed as she left, picking up Lily's hand.

Ryan did not return to work, but when Valera did and Horatio pulled her aside, asking her about Ryan, she widened her eyes and stammered. He nodded, telling her in a Horatio like manner that he knew and everything was well and she wasn't to be in trouble. She had sighed heavily, he had told her to get back to work, and she obeyed readily, needing something to keep her mind from wandering to Ryan and Lily.

She had just entered her lab when Calleigh walked in, bright eyed and cheery.

"Hi Maxine!"

Valera turned her head to stare at Calleigh.

"Uh, hi Cal, I'm uh, a little busy, 'cause I yeah I have…stuff. So, yeah…stuff. I need to do it. Now."

Valera turned her back to Calleigh, muttering curses to herself, and pretended to work, moving things about as if she were terribly busy.

"Maxine, is something wrong?" Calleigh asked curiously, and a bit worried.

"Wrong? What, no that's ridiculous! Nothing's wrong at all. Nope, nothing wrong here."

"Are you sure? You don't sound fine. Did Ryan do something? I swear that man – "

"Ryan! No, no, no not Ryan. He doesn't have anything to do with…anything! He's fine, perfect, Cal, really. Everything is just perfect. I mean it."

Calleigh narrowed her eyes, backing toward the door to leave Valera and her 'nothing wrong', to herself.

She walked out of the DNA Lab, and walked down the halls, muttering to herself along the way: "I'm beginning to wonder what people call 'normal' these days."

* * *

_Yeah?_


End file.
